In a town like Virgin River, where time moves at an impossibly glacial pace, this episode began with the biggest bombshell we’ve seen yet:

APRIL?! How many surprise pregnancies have there been since Christmas Eve? How many suspicious surprise grandsons or twin cop kidnappers? How many times did Brady save someone? (#hero)

Sadly, none, dear reader, because this season is a calmer, more reserved Virgin River. Everyone has been juicing, meditating, and writing in their dream journals. These people are ready to be the newer, more improved versions of themselves. They have bounced back from surprise paternity, “devastating” wild fires, and finding out their town was home to a drug-smuggling ring, and everything is really super good now. Just don’t ask any questions: this all makes perfect sense.

Now, we sped things up because we didn’t want to wait 12 seasons for Mel and Jack to tie the knot. But first, she needs a dress.

And since she’s getting married on a farm, she needs the right women to help her pick up an outfit for the big day!

This makes sense… it’s not like she has a sister or a friend with a large hat or anything to help her select a dress.

She also needs someone to officiate the wedding and style her hair.

Man, it’s great that Charmaine has bounced back from her Christmas Eve delivery and is back to work. Now normally I’d say it’s sexist to ask whose watching the kids, but given who their dad is, I feel like this is a valid question. No, wait, I’m sure she just enrolled them in that awesome preschool…

So, everything with Mel is super duper chill. She also got a great wedding gift!

Jack is also doing super great! First off, he has a horse now, so that’s awesome. Also, he’s tots not afraid of being up on a roof even though his brother died from falling off of one (right?).

Now, I know what you’re thinking — not everyone is doing awesome. For instance, Preacher is going on trial for murder.

But, hear me out: it’s pretty awesome that even though he is accused of killing Wes and hiding the body, he’s still allowed to roam town with zero restrictions. And do you know why?

That’s right, folks — Brie is back, and she’s defending Preach! This is her first big case (I’m guessing) so she’s working all the time. I’m not joking! Look:

The best part is, her law office has a pretty awesome WFH policy, which includes having presumably private documents wherever whenever, even if you’re sleeping with a cop who’s connected to the case.

Hmmm, now, I have confessed before that I’m not a lawyer, but isn’t this some sort of conflict of interest? Seems like the man who helped Preacher almost get away with this crime shouldn’t be hanging out with Preacher’s lawyer, never mind have this must access to the case documents. Also, is he gonna be in the courtroom as a co-defendant or what?

Oh no, just for heart-eye emojis. Cool, cool, cool. This case still doesn’t make any sense… but we can’t have multiple people on trial.

Speaking of felons, Brady is also awesome!

What insurance check???

So, wait, Brady OWNED the lumberyard that was smuggling drugs not once, but twice, but is somehow still entitled to the insurance money because it burned down in a fire? Shouldn’t that money be, like, federal property? Okay, sure… I’ll buy it. Good to see Brady’s fortunes have finally turned around.

So, what’s Brady’s big dream for his big payday? I’m glad you asked!

Because…

Now, first of all, half this money should go to Jeb’s widow. (RIP, Jeb: we hardly knew thee.) Secondly, what? Bikes kept him out of trouble? Every time we see him on a motorcycle, it’s some sort of problematic situation.

Like, being tardy for important events.

Or flirting with married women:

Or threatening to commit a crime:

Or running secret undercover operations without being an actual officer of the law.

And yet PREACHER is the one on trial? Okay, I guess this whole insurance thing is happening because the weed people want to steal his money for reasons. And, Lark dances off to the prison to share the good news with person who we definitely remember.

It’s good to see that they renewed his contract. So, he’s also doing great.

The only one not going great in this episode is really poor Lizzie, who’s pregnancy is really more of a PSA at this point:

At least Denny’s here.

Yep, this season is gonna be (say it with me) awesome!