T’was the day before Christmas and high atop Virgin River,

Mel flipped through some postcards, her heart was a-flitter;

Her father, she learned, was not her real dad;

And Jack was delighting at the affair that’d been had.

What are the chances Joey’s mother would cheat,

With a local from VR? How tidy and neat.

Meanwhile, across town, Brie prepared — no, not for work! —

Her parents are coming and might go berserk.

Her mother’s new boyfriend might do some harm,

so she’s asking her BF to use some of his charm.

Her dad is a miser, but there’s one thing she knows —

nothing excites this man like a show!

Thank God Muriel wrote and directed this thing:

A showcase in which she can dance, tap, and sing.

Not everyone’s happy to see her and Cam thrive,

And on Muriel’s big night, Cam’s ex-fiancee arrives!

Remember why these two were not a good match?

It seems the real issue was Miche’ loved her flask.

At least the other Michelle didn’t just drop by; she called up Preacher, just to say “hi.”

She wants to discuss one tiny thing,

But he’s mostly excited about what Santa will bring.

Meanwhile, Jack hunts for the perfect gift,

The name of the man Mel’s mom had sex with!

All roads in this town pass through Hope McCrea,

and these two are hoping that she’ll make their day.

It’s Lydie, though, who makes the crucial connection.

It seems Mel’s mom’s mail was quite an obsession.

Of course, even Santa can’t remember it all,

so our two junior sleuths know just who to call!

Preacher springs into action, just like ol’ St. Nick,

And shockingly finds Mel’s new father real quick.

Is her new daddy Santa? Will he make it snow?

Press “next episode” now if you’ve gotta know!