Okay, now that we’ve dealt with all the things relating to Ms. Frances’ passing (God bless her soul), it’s time to get back to what this season is all about.

For some reason, these three are in charge of selecting the new town mayor, and are naturally spending all their energy trying to find the right person. Let’s look at the candidates, shall we?

Candidate 1: Cal

Cal is the former superstar baseball player with a secret anger problem. Since he just got fired from his job, he’s got the time to campaign. Only problem?

Okay, so we are looking for someone who can appeal to women voters. How about Mary Vaughn?

Candidate 2: Mary Vaughn

She’s a pro-family matriarch with a thriving business who gives off never-let-’em-see-you-sweat energy. Problem? I think she’s married to the current mayor (though I truly have no idea.) Also, she lacks people skills.

Candidate 3: Trotter

He’s friendly, affable, gets along great with women, and runs the spa when no one else has time to turn up to work.

Problem? He’s ALWAYS touching everybody.

Okay, so how about a more hand’s off candidate…

Candidate 4: Bill

Beloved (?) doctor (I think) who has fathered two kids (that we know of) with two women who weren’t his wife (oopsie). He’s kind of a mess, but he’s trying to do better.

Hmmm… no, too many skeltons in his closet. We need someone with a little less history.

Candidate 5: Noreen

Sure, we don’t know much about her, but she’s the can-do single mom who the town has rallied around. And you know what, she makes great cookies. Cookies so good that even professional chefs want the recipe!

Eh, I think she’s a little tied up with Peanut. (What is this kid’s real name, BTW?)

Alright, so we are looking for someone with a lot of time of their hands. How about…

Candidate 6: Ronnie

Sure, he was gone awhile but he’s a supportive dad.

And good in bed *wink wink*. He’s got his truck back and his wife just inherited a life-changing amount of money. He doesn’t seem to have a job that’s keeping him busy.

Oh, shoot — he’s got this pesky thing with his mystery sister to work out. Maybe we could hire him for debate prep.

Candidate 7: Pastor June

Everybody likes her and she’s a great public speaker!

Yeah, can’t have single women on the ballot. That would look too weird.

Candidate 8: Ryan

He is Aunt Frances’ beloved nephew, there’s nothing else I need to hear! And the timing is great because he’s just been given an ultimatum by Helen.

(I mean, really, what was Ryan’s vision for their life together?)

Alright, Ryan (Frances?) for Mayor 2023!