I’ll be honest — I don’t remember that much of last season. Thank God that while an entire year has passed for us viewers, only a few minutes have passed in the VR universe. But the clouds gathering on the horizon are an ominous reminder that season four ended with many, many cliffhangers.

Now, I fully expected we would be opening on a cabin — Mel and Jack’s cabin that is, because let’s not forget that Jack’s place burned down. (That man has extraordinarily bad luck.) But no, we are headed straight to the heart of the action: the cabin where Chef/Secret Agent Preacher has just rescued Paige/Michelle from Wes/Vince! And thankfully, we are getting some exposition in case we forgot what this storyline is all about.

Oh no, this is exactly what Paige/Michelle was afraid of — it’s why she spent all that time hiding. Her cover I officially blown!

Oh, never mind. Apparently no one investigates accusations of murder made by criminals. Phew!

Looks like these two can finally get their happy ending. *squee*

Because, as Jack reminds us:

Yeah, Preach has done a lot for M/P. Let’s look back on some of the highlights of their relationship.

Remember that time he paid her in cash because she didn’t have a bank account and didn’t ask any questions because there’s nothing weird about a grown woman/business owner without a bank account.

Remember that time he wanted nothing more than to take care of her so she was going to move in (amicably)?

Remember how she accidentally murdered her ex so Preacher hid the body and then M/P had to run away so he just babysat for all those months? And then he lost her kid and had to hire TWO private detectives to find him, but really all he needed was a single sketch.

How much money does this man make at Jack’s? Never mind… The point is, this day is off to a pretty awesome start! By the time the opening credits roll, we know we’ve in for a bright, sunny day.

First, Julia is crushing it at work when he boyfriend swings by.

Wait, make that ex-boyfriend.

And Brady got a promotion, though he maybe doesn’t understand all the rules and responsibilities of his new role.

Cameron, on the other hand, is very clear on what he will and won’t be doing at the office.

Lizzie’s also starting a new job today as Hope’s aide. First order of business is breakfast.

#girlboss

Good thing she’s here though, because Hope is ready to go back to work as town mayor. (Did you remember she’s the mayor? Neither did I.) Anyway, there’s a town meeting coming up.

Yep, that’s the one, and the agenda needs HELP.

Good thing Lizzie is here to lend her skills.

Meanwhile, Jack is relaxing having recently learned

How does he really feel about this?

Anyway, that whole saga is defs over, so we can just forget about that and move on to more important things, like Christopher’s “natural” hair color.

And Bree’s new address!

But before she goes, she has a little business to take care of.

And naturally, the first step to pressing charges is calling a friend in the DA’s office, who acts as an audience surrogate.

Wait, who?

Don is seriously up to no good.

I really don’t understand how the law works in this show. Wouldn’t that be considered witness tampering?

Well, at least Bree has nothing to worry about now except moving into her brand new house!

She’s shocked because not only is this property available immediately, her movers are ready to deliver her things! That NEVER happens!

She also took a minute to send out a quickie change of address notice. It was nice of her to notify her old boss that she’s moved now. And he responded in kind with a little housewarming gift.

Welcome to the neighborhood.