It’s been an explosive season so far, but nothing has prepared us for this! Jack is starting a GLAMPING business!

Actually, there’s a ton of exciting stuff we have to unpack before we can book one of Jack’s new Airstreams. First, Vernon finds out Jack and Mel are having a baby!

Now, you’ll recall that Mel had to call doc last night because she thought there was something wrong with Mack, and Jack was nowhere to be found. Also, she was apparently unable to locate the doppler Jack bought her in the season premiere.

Anyway, baby Mack is fine. Baby Mack is always going to be fine because, without Mack, there wouldn’t be any drama, and this show thrives on drama. This is why, two seconds after Mel and Jack get home, Joey comes SCREECHING into the driveway with big, BIG news.

Now, Mel is taken aback by Joey’s engagement, but what I find really puzzling is why these two sisters who apparently tell each other everything didn’t ever even discuss Joey meeting this man.

Anyway, after some serious will-they-or-won’t they drama, things with Preacher and Julia are FINALLY moving forward! This after that crazy passionate kiss they shared a few episodes ago.

I, for one, am pretty thrilled to see Preacher putting himself out there again. He was really letting the whole Paige running away, Christopher getting kidnapped thing harsh his mellow. But it’s been, like, 48 hours since he even mentioned the TWO private detectives he has on the case.

With Preacher off at aikido, Jack’s left all alone at the bar.

Mel has to spend all day trying to stop this wedding.

And the ladies’ sewing circle is launching a new project!

And in the midst of all this mayhem, inspiration strikes!

Nah, these hipsters are interested in kicking it at JE’s place! They are going GLAMPING!

After this two second exchange, Jack has decided this is his next move. And a minute later, he has his first investor!

Why is Nick willing to invest even though this would DIRECTLY COMPETE WITH THE BNB?!?

Also, is that how starting a business works when you’re a white man?

Anyway, definitely not glamping today: Cam and Vern.

They have to respond to a very remote emergency in the forest.

Now, call me crazy, but shouldn’t they have a satellite cell phone? You’re telling me this man, who was losing his vision not that long ago, BTW, is gonna hike four miles to get a signal if someone needs an ambulance???

Nothing in this town makes sense! Which probably explains why Mike needs Brady’s help with ???

I’m sorry, but is this a real criminal charge? Because it seems like the kind of thing that happens in Target with overtired toddlers all the time.

For some reason, Mike needs Brady to something so he has to something so Jimmy will something. Plot, plot, plot. Text message. The most important point of this storyline is that we get a peek at Brady’s phone background, which is pretty epic.

Anyway, Brady goes down to the station to interrogate (?) Jimmy — WHO TRIED TO MURDER HIM, PS — because Brady is the only one who can… I don’t even know. How is this legal!?

But, it works!

Uh… just curious: is Brady still being charged with attempted murder?

Julia and Preacher hit a roadblock when she FINALLY asks about the mysterious drawing in the picnic basket, and Preacher responds:

Yeah! It is! Maybe it would help to TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT IT! Especially someone to whom you are attracted. You know, in case you ever want to move on from your Lifetime movie plot life and settle down. (Also, you’re telling me he hadn’t thought about how to respond to a question like this????)

Looks like Joey and what’s his name/Hallmark Christmas movie affable boss guy also aren’t going to go the distance either. Mel succeeded in breaking them up.

Now, I’m really trying to imagine the fight between Joey and her fiancée, which was obviously cut for time because this episode was so action-packed.

Him: Why didn’t you tell me your sister was upset about us getting married tomorrow? It’s not like we just met yesterday.

Her: Yeah, seriously. It’s been an entire month. She’s just jealous.

Him: I’m not sure I want to marry into this crazy family.

Her: You’ve never even met my family.

Luckily, one couple in this episode is moving forward: Denny and Lizzie.

Let’s not forget that Lizzie is (was?) sex-crazed, so of course, she’s ready for a romp with Den! (Remember, there was an entire plot about whether or not this woman should have the luxury of obtaining contraception.) Anyway, Denny is NOT into it.

Lizzie gets charger-blocked, which is the worst way to get blocked. But then when she goes looking for the charger, she discovers something way worse.

Hmmm… why does Denny have a bottle of his dead dad’s meds in the desk? Suspicious!

Why does Preacher not want to talk about the photo in the picnic basket? Suspicious!

Why doesn’t Nate want to marry Joey anymore after one fight? Suspicious!

Why is Nick investing in glamping? Suspicious!

Why is Brady allowed to interrogate police witnesses? Suspicious!

I’m starting to think we can’t trust *any* of these guys!