Well, bad news. I know you thought Carl was going to be a major character this season, but he’s dead. And, twist, the hospital thinks Mel is his daughter! Do we think she’s going to accidentally end up with a Dana Sue-like inheritance?

But you know who’s not dead? Brady! He’s busy is recovering from being shivved/sexy time with Brie. And he needs bandages.

Brie looks for these bandages in the MOST likely of places. Because of course after you return to your home that’s been torn apart by the FBI and after being nearly murdered in prison, the first thing you do is put your post-op supplies underneath your kitchen sink.

Actually, that’s NOT the first thing Brady did after his discharge. He actually made a quick stop at the local bank to withdraw a bunch of money, which didn’t raise any suspicions with anyone.

Turns out Brady is looking to take a little getaway.

I really DO NOT understand the conditions of his release. He’s not under house arrest or anything?

Anyway, he’s ready to run until he finds out that Brie is in danger.

So now, Brady, who is innocent, has bigger plans.

But Brie convinces Brady to stop acting like a jealous, violent lover, which would likely LAND HIM BACK IN JAIL.

Question: do we think Brie will be the bait?

Also, making plans to get out of town? Mel! And she needs Preacher’s help because Preacher doesn’t have anything else on his plate. (Again, is this man preoccupied with finding Christopher/reuniting with Michelle/Paige/finding Wes/keeping that body hidden or not???) Mel wants to whisk Jack away and rather than asking anyone else in town like, say, Jo Ellen, she turns to him because… plot? Does Preacher moonlight as a travel agent?

Yipee! Now she just has to figure out how to pry Jack away from repainting the diner — wait, no, bar. (Sorry, this isn’t Gilmore girls.)

Um… I love this SO MUCH because this entire plot point was launched by Jack’s dad’s visit. So, Jack IS a real Sheridan! Take that, Sam!

Unfortunately, Jack is having a pretty lousy day because not only is he repainting out of spite (remember what his dad said?), but it turns out Cameron was also right…remember what he said last night:

And he is tied to a real piece of work! Charmaine has the nerve to ask Jack to look at a preschool for their children. How dare she! And he doesn’t like this school because it seems pretentious.

Jack is being super unreasonable as the school has a lot of things that babies need!

Plus, doesn’t he want the best for his BOYS?!

Poor Jack, because the only thing worst than not finding out the sex of your kids is finding out that someone found out before you did!

Well, at least somebody is enjoying babies!

Turns out, Doctor Cutie — who should maybe get with Tara? — adores kids! He’s the perfect man!

Sorry, Cam, but you’re barking up the wrong tree.

Also barking up the wrong tree — Julia, apparently.

She drops by the bar, and Preacher gets to work on impressing her with some of his famous artichoke dip.

Ha! This legitimately made me laugh out loud.

But Preacher insists he’s not interested in Julia.

What?! How much money does Preacher make?

And then, he goes back out to the bar, comps Julia’s meal, and says:

Uh… talk about mixed signals!!!

He’s not the only one who’s been sending them though.

Denny takes Lizzie for a hike, and let’s take a minute to discuss how strange it is that he’s got a FULL PACK and she doesn’t even have a water bottle. What?! I think this is how the movie 127 Hours started…

Lizzie asks Denny if he wants to be the Romeo to her Juliet in the upcoming town fair…

…and he responds:

Ouch.

What exactly is your thing, Denny? Finding long-lost grandparents who didn’t know you existed? Calling hospitals to find out personal patient information?

Does Denny have some sort of Shakespeare-related trauma we don’t know about yet? Is Romeo and Juliet somehow responsible for his father’s untimely death?? (I bet JE knows!)

Also getting their signals crossed this episode: detective guy.

Brie wants him to help clear Brady’s name. Only problem is he wants Brady’s girlfriend. Shoot! Worst date ever!

Oh, wait, I take that back. Jack and Mel are on the worst date ever as the pilot Preacher booked for them is about to have a heart attack.

We know the stakes a high because the writers go through some serious pains to tell you that Jack has some limited flight experience.

And they are pretty high up in the air.

Well, I’d have to give Preacher’s travel agency zero stars — would not book again.

Will Jack and Mel survive, or this episode the prequel to the new Netflix series, Keep Breathing?