Well, the season finale of Sweet Magnolias gave us ups, downs, and lots of unanswered questions… like who on earth would order this? 

I like Annie, but I am concerned for her. 

This woman is correctly puzzled. 

But, back to our reason for gathering today: we need to pour it out…

(Why do these three get to pick the new mayor??)

But first, a recap! The great thing about these ladies’ nights is it offers the perfect framing device for distracted viewers who may have missed a thing or two:

Ryan is back in town for his aunt’s funeral, a woman who is so critical to this town that everything has apparently come to a grinding halt, but so unimportant that I literally could not tell you a single thing about her. The show worked overtime to try to remind us who she was…a poetry teacher who had an affinity for books, I guess. 

Anyway, we continue to unravel the puzzle of Dana Sue’s estrangement with her husband. The episode was clearly written by a man who’s busy waiting for his wife to say…

Her biggest mistake might be dating a man who wears THIS to a funeral. 

While DS & Ronnie are headed for a second chance, Cal and Maddie discover trouble in paradise when he finally reveals that’s been… not in rehab, not abusing pills, not cheating or gambling. He went to ANGER MANAGEMENT. Mic drop. 

Never mind who Johnny and Jodie are. Maybe one of them told Mary Vaughn!

By the way, I would love to see Dark Cal sometime. 

Maybe he’s some sort of secret caped crusader… wait, no, this isn’t the CW. 

Also working on his anger issues, Jackson! 

This town has a remarkable number of well-adjusted and polite teenagers! Never mind that Jackson ENDED Tyler’s baseball career… and baseball was the only thing he had in common with his dad. 

Not just Jackson though. Ryan also got the call that it’s time to clean up his act, and so he comes to Helen — who is, for some reason, responsible for organizing the funeral as opposed to this woman’s own nephew because… law? Anyway, Ryan has a confession. 

And Helen takes this news about as well as a plaintiff on Law and Order finding out that the criminal the detectives promised would be convicted has been released due to a technicality. 

Ryan somehow mistakes this face for total elation and plans accordingly, as we will see. 

Ronnie, still searching for a way back into his marriage, tries to find an Erik-like confidante in Tyler. 

Luckily, Dana Sue has decided to forgive him for cheating (?) by making a grand gesture. 

You’re telling me that this woman didn’t have enough money to keep her restaurant, but kept her ex’s truck in storage for two years?  

One ex who isn’t being welcomed back? Bill. Maddie has an important lesson to share with him. 

This does seem somewhat unfair given that Peggy never told Bill she was pregnant, had the baby, or put him up for adoption. So, he didn’t technically know he was repeating a mistake when he started sleeping with Noreen. 

And while we’re busy kicking people out, Mary Vaughn gives Cal the ax. And on the holiest of days, no less.  

Frances funeral is the event of the town! And an opportunity to remember just how diverse Serenity is!

 And while most of the kids are alright, one gets the feeling Lily might be up to no good…

The real heft of the episode comes after the funeral when Annie has a run in with a MYSTERIOUS LADY! 

SHHHHHHHHE’S BACK!

Dana Sue gets a big check!

And someone posts a video on Instagram! (I’m betting Serenity Secrets is run by Lily… just sayin’)

Finally, Cal gets some help from a big fan!

We all remember Stu, right? From the St. Jude’s black tie gala, where he didn’t come off as obsessive AT ALL. 

Now he sounds like a straight-up conspiracy theorist. (Are we sure this isn’t Riverdale?)

When Cal loses his cool and assaults Stu, Erik immediately calls Helen, who does not swipe right because she is busy. 

So, what’s next for the three besties of Serenity? Will they get their parking lot? Will they go back to work or just be independently wealthy now that Frances has given DS a big check? How many of these teens are headed for Romeo & Juliet romances?

And, of course, who is going to be the next mayor of Serenity? Only time will tell!